if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
