I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
