Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
where are my eyebrows?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
