Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
