Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
