I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
