oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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