I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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