Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
