And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
