Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
