oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
