Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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