Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
