you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
