How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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