Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
