if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
