There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
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He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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