I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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