I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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