Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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