do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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