playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
