and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
