Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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