A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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