Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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