Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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