My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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