i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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