I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
