quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
