gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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