I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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