Screwed.edu
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
