DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
