9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
