my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
