My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
