you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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