This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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