I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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