Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
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He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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