Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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