we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was CRYING into my vagina
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize