Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize