she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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