wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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