I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
