Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
