the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
