Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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