you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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