Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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