The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
