Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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