just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
