so explain again why im purple
no
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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