just tell him i said nine months
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
