I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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