I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
