If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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